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Amy learned during her first hospitalization to try doing enjoyable activities as a distraction when she started feeling overwhelmed. These activities were called “copers” – something to help her cope with her anxiety. She made a lengthy list which she would bring out and review as needed. She would then choose one to do. If that one didn’t work, she’d bring out the list and choose another until she found one to calm her down.
Some copers were typical – reading, singing to music, drawing, etc. Some were just plain weird, like letting rice run through her fingers. Yes, we honestly had a bag of “coper rice” which she would play with. The tactile sensation was soothing to her. The coper list went with her to school in her pencil bag, too, ready for when she needed it. Of course, the coper rice had to stay home but there were plenty of other things on the list that she could do at school.
My point here is that if it works (and is legal, ethical, not destructive and moral) then let them do it. Whatever it takes. Yes, it involves some getting used to but let them do it. They need to find how to control their emotions on their own.
It kind of reminds me of Amy’s imaginary friends when she was three. She had half a dozen of them. We followed the drill; indulge them and eventually she’ll give them up. So, when her imaginary friend Dorothy was staying for dinner, we set a place for her.
We did have to draw the line a few times, though. I remember her older sister coming to me complaining that she couldn’t watch TV because all of Amy’s imaginary friends were sitting in the chairs. We told Amy that her friends had to go home at that point. She smiled at me and I started to suspect that the friends were becoming a matter of convenience. Or in her sister’s case, inconvenience!